Sometimes, like now perhaps, there are things I’d like to write about but can’t in such a public forum. My goal with this blog is to be open and honest, and thus far I’ve been pretty dang successful at doing that. What I’m realizing, and oddly quite comfortable with, is that being open and honest doesn’t equate to being emotionally naked for the 60 to 150 people who read this site every day. Yes, WordPress has a nifty tracking feature, and yes, while I shouldn’t care, I am rather interested in the number of people reading my thoughts each day. My word such emotional nudity would be tiring (for all of us) and I only have so much drama in me!
So, here I am, honest and open – your friendly neighborhood Joey – but not revealing what’s exactly on my mind but writing about the fact I have something on my mind. I recognize this is now tantamount to saying “I know something you don’t know” but…it’s my blog, I make the rules! Let’s consider it meta-blogging.
It makes me wonder about how much self-editing we all do on a daily basis. To truly live out loud and put oneself out there is akin to speaking your mind all of the time. There is a reason we edit what we share. Yes, I may think you’re too old to be wearing Abercrombie, but I’m not going to tell you that. Yes, you may think my decision was terrible, stupid, and bone-headed, but I have power over you. Yes, I may think that the European guy at the next table flirting with his eyes is incredibly attractive, but we’ve been together six years and I’m not going to put that on you.
There’s a reason if I had to pick a super power, it would most likely not be the ability to read minds. While I have every interest in knowing your raw thoughts and the skeletons in your closet, that knowledge is powerful, and may hurt me. Lord knows I couldn’t resist peeking. It’s a minor miracle I haven’t looked under the bed on which I’m currently writing this blog as I know full well that Jason put my birthday presents there. I know this because he told me specifically that I’m not allowed to look under the bed. Note to readers: if you find yourself in my house in the next 8 days, he didn’t specify that you can’t look under the bed and share your newfound knowledge with me. Just saying…
I guess my thesis with all of this written mumbo-jumbo is that not disclosing our full, 100% selves can be healthy and a favor to others. I do wonder then where the line lies between what is not disclosing to avoiding hurting others and what is keeping a secret that only hurts ourselves? Guess it depends on the specifics.
For the record, I’m not holding anything negative in me right now. In fact, I’m pretty darn serene, peaceful, and happy. And that’s not just because Lost is on tonight. Also, for the record, if you’re reading this post and worrying this is about you, I assure you it isn’t. So, you reading this right now, yes you, stop worrying because it’s not about you!